At the park Found a stick He's our boy Named it Randall Ferguson Ferguson He’s a good boy He’s a good boy He will be missed He will be missed He’s a good boy He’s a good boy He will be missed He will be missed He's dead Forever in our hearts

My grandma was 80 years young So I decided to show her some fun I put her in her straightjacket and began to read Her favorite book about The ABC’s I hooked up her leash and led her to the car This time i don’t have to use the crowbar She asked, “where are you taking me?” I replied, “to a slayer Concert, baby.” I wake my grandma up at 5:30 I say I always like to arrive early She asks “can’t I just sleep a little longer?” I scream “get up! You ain’t gettin' any younger!” We get into the car, and as we drive away I ask if she would defend and serve the USA She says “what are we doing?” looking quite wary I give her camo and say, we’re joining the military Bring your own grandma Bring your own grandma Bring your own grandma Oh come here so I can pinch your cheeks Bring your own grandma Bring your own grandma Bring your own grandma I'm baking a batch of cookies It was a hot summer day back in July My grandma and I were sweating so much we were gonna fry She said to me “Can we find a place to cool down?” I said “Yes, there is a place outside of town” So we drove off into this certain area When we got there, it was a massive hysteria “Where did you bring me?” my grandma screeched I replied back, “I brought you to a nudist beach” Bring your own grandma Bring your own grandma Bring your own grandma Sweetie give me a kiss Bring your own grandma Bring your own grandma Bring your own grandma Oh you look like you're almost as tall as your mother, sweetie Bring your own grandma Bring your own grandma Bring your own grandma Go back for seconds you're looking a little skinny, boy Bring your own grandma Bring your own grandma

Me and my friends made our way to a pool Wearing super tight speedos thinking we’re so cool We took off our shirts and we were ready to go Then we saw something huge that made our minds explode We saw the biggest slide in the entire world Shaped in different forms of whirls and twirls Running so fast thinking there’s no time to rest A lifeguard stopped us and said you need to take the swim test (Swim test!) Why oh why (Swim test!) Is this necessary (Swim test!) I’m on my knees praying (Swim test!) Get me out of this mess So I followed the rules and I took the swim test The lifeguard said “Go!” and I did my best My friends are watching me as I moved along They both cheered for me which didn’t very last long I turned around and then I swam back Water splashed everywhere like a massive attack When I was done, I asked the lifeguard “did I pass?” The lifeguard said “No. You’ve failed the task.” (Swim test!) Why oh why (Swim test!) Is this necessary (Swim test!) I’m on my knees praying (Swim test!) Get me out of this mess (Swim test!) Why oh why? (Swim test!) Is this necessary? (Swim test!) I’m on my knees praying (Swim test!) Get me out of this mess (Swim test!) Why oh why? (Swim test!) Is this necessary? (Swim test!) I’m on my knees praying (Swim test!) Get me out of this mess

Hangin’ out with the bros (Yeah) Living together has its pros (Yeah) Shotgunnin' beers I ain't opposed (Yeah) But only on the weekends Working out is good for the soul (Yeah) You know I’m always getting swole (Yeah) Cholesterol will take its toll (Yeah) I don’t want heart disease I am a frat guy But I’m pretty fly I’m a frat guy And i’m pretty fly I’m a frat guy Yeah I am pretty fly I’m a frat guy Yeah come on one more time I’m a frat guy Yeah I am pretty fly My friends are at the bar gettin girls (Yeah) But you know that’s not my world (Yeah) Shh I’m at the library (yeah) Because I respect women I am a frat guy But I’m pretty fly Yeah mom, I am a frat guy And I'll never die Jump I’m a frat guy And i’m pretty fly I’m a frat guy Yeah I am pretty fly I’m a frat guy Yeah come on one more time I’m a frat guy Yeah I am pretty fly I’m a frat guy And i’m pretty fly I’m a frat guy Yeah I am pretty fly I’m a frat guy Yeah come on one more time I’m a frat guy Yeah and I'll never die

Argentinayay Oliviabay Azilbray Ilechay Olombiacay Ubacay Ecuadoryay Uatemalagay Pig Latin America Pig Latin world Pig Latin boy Pig Latin girl Pig Latin America Pig Latin world Pig Latin boy Pig Latin girl Aitihay Ondurashay Exicomay Uruguayyay Anamapay Araguaypay Erupay Icaraguanay Enezuelavay Pig Latin America Pig Latin world Pig Latin boy Pig Latin girl Pig Latin America Pig Latin world Pig Latin boy Pig Latin girl

I’m no alpha But I’m not bad I wear the cone And I’m sad I lost the bird My friends are mad This is the worst day I’ve ever had Help me Save me For the love of god help Help me Save me I am trapped Help me Save me I’m in the cone of shame I wish I could Turn my head I wish I could Just be dead If I die Will I go to heaven I would be fine If it weren’t for Kevin Help me Save me For the love of god help Help me Save me I am trapped Help me Save me I’m in the cone of shame Help me Save me For the love of god help Help me Save me I am trapped Help me Save me I’m in the cone of shame

I walked to the store To the blockbuster store To pick out a movie A really good movie I found the right one The one to go watch So me and my friends Don’t have to hopscotch We went to the counter (the counter, the counter) To pick up a season (of Chowder, Of chowder) When all of a sudden I heard a great noise A gunshot, a cannon Some lasers (wait what?) Pirates? Cowboys? Pirate-Cowboys? Lasers? Lasers? More lasers? Trapped in a blockbuster Pirate-Cowboys, With lasers The pirates swung in On lassos of string With their big swords And guns to sling As soon as I heard The pirates come forth I had to get out But the exit lay north The pirates all turned And charged my way As I threw down some shelves Of VHS Tapes One of the tapes Hit one in the Head He sat down and cried Because of Coneheads I tried to escape But was trapped by two Of cowboys or pirates I didn’t knew I knocked out one’s Jaw And one lassoed my leg I fell to the floor He dragged me away I found a way out And stood back up I used a cutout To beat that dude up Finally free I ran to the door But to my surprise There was one more Pirate? Cowboys? Pirate-Cowboys? Lasers? Lasers? More lasers? Trapped in a blockbuster Pirate-Cowboys, With lasers I just wanted to rent a movie Why did my day turn out like this? I just wanted to rent a movie Why did my day turn out like this? (Altercation) Pirate? Cowboys? Pirate-Cowboys? Lasers? Lasers? More lasers? Trapped in a blockbuster Pirate-Cowboys, With lasers

jazz... FUCK JAZZ jazz... FUCK JAZZ

Giddy up Zero, one, two, three Country music means everything to me I always need it, can’t get enough It’s like a drug I’m feeling that rush Every song makes me feel so happy It always seems to entertain me Without the music, I’ll get really angry It keeps me going, that’s my kind of energy I love country music I listen all the time I love drinkin beer and making words rhyme Dogs and boats and trucks and fishin gear Get over here Phyllis and grab me a beer Nobody can’t take away this piece of music How could anyone get rid of something this amusing? Country music will always live on it is the best It outlives other forms of music that I oppress I love country music it’s the best music I’ve ever heard I do not care what y’all think if I’m right or just absurd You people think I’m wrong but I am just being true If you don’t like it, all I gotta say is screw you Sit, relax and take a second Let me explain and I hope you understand Country music makes you feel free And that’s all you really need Talking about girls, trucks and beer Increases my pride and makes me cheer To all of those who think country music is shit Y’all are nothing but a stupid bag of dicks I love country music I listen all the time I love drinkin beer and making words rhyme Dogs and boats and trucks and fishin gear Get over here Phyllis and grab me a beer Yee-haw I love country music it’s the best music I’ve ever heard I do not care what y’all think if I’m right or just absurd You people think I’m wrong but I am just being true If you don’t like it, all I gotta say is screw you Country music is the best Country music is the best It’s the greatest thing ever and it always will be Nothing will ever change my mind No matter how hard you try Country music is the best Country music is the best Yeah I love I love country music It’s the best thing that I’ve ever heard in my whole life You Cannot stop the music It will always be stronger and it will never ever die I love country music it’s the best music I’ve ever heard I do not care what y’all think if I’m right or just absurd You people think I’m wrong but I am just being true If you don’t like it, all I gotta say is fuck you I love country music it’s the best music I’ve ever heard I do not care what y’all think if I’m right or just absurd You people think I’m wrong but I am just being true If you don’t like it, all I gotta say is fuck you Country music is the best Country music is the best It’s the greatest thing ever and it always will be Nothing will ever change my mind No matter how hard you try Country music is the best Country music is the best Don’t take this away from, away from me Don’t take this away from, away from me Don’t take this away from, away from me Don’t take this away from, away from me

DAY 1 My mom just dropped me off, my life is now complete It’s the place of my dreams, The Pizza Retreat I hope The week ahead will be the best I’ve ever had Maybe it’ll be so great I’ll forget the absence of my dad There’s pizza over here! There’s pizza over there! Magic is in the pizza-air as we say pizza-prayer! Pepperoni, cheese, sausage, so much to breathe in! They even have pineapple for all of the heathens! Feed me the pizza Give me the pizza Feed me the pizza Oh shit, here comes the cavalry Cavalry: Eat the pizza Put it in your mouth Shut up and eat it Eat the pizza Eat the pizza Put it in your mouth Shut up and eat it Eat the pizza DAY 5 I thought I was the biggest pizza fan in the land But this much pizza could feed all of Thailand Pizza for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert There’s so much pizza I’ve been hiding it in my shirt The cavalry is so demanding, I can’t eat anymore Why is the pizza retreat run by army corps How can I be so empty and full all at the same time I’ll just have one more slice in the meantime Don't feed me the pizza I don't want the pizza Please no more pizza Oh shit, here comes the cavalry Cavalry: Eat the pizza Put it in your mouth Shut up and eat it Eat the pizza Eat the pizza Put it in your mouth Shut up and eat it Eat the pizza Keanu Reeves: Hello child, it’s me, Keanu Reeves Right now you are dreaming and I’m talking to you through the power of Pizza You may not know it right now but you are trapped in a horrible place From which I am to help you escape First, you must cross the river of Coke which is entirely made of Pepsi Then you must fly across the grease fields of torturous death so you don’t die You then must fight the great elephant of wisdom who has more wisdom than even myself - Keanu Reeves; so good luck He uses riddles and puzzles to defeat his enemies and it sucks a lot but he guards the one true item you need to escape the ultimate slice You must get to the ultimate slice of pizza It holds the power of forty suns and can burn all of your enemies and captors Only then will you be able to escape Keanu, out Thank you Keanu I know now what I must do Gotta blast Oh man, the river of coke and the grease fields of torturous death were a close call! I would’ve told you what happened, but that kinda takes up a lot of time, you know? It’s really a shame that you weren’t there to see it The Elephant of Wisdom: I am the great elephant of wisdom You must think you have a large amount of balls Because I am very very smart. my brain is large sized. You may have gotten past the river of coke And the grease fields of torturous death But you won't defeat me so easily Keanu fears me for a reason. Hey. Wait. What are you doing? You wouldn't dare... You're going to leave me out of the song? How could you? Don't leave me! Aaaaaaaaahhh With the elephant gone There is only one task I must complete It’s the ultimate slice Which will conclude my pizza retreat Just up a flight of stairs On a pedestal it sits The mist slowly dissipates Revealing a slice so delish Oh my god It’s so amazing I can’t even describe it to you It’s not out of laziness It’s really just that amazing I’m so overwhelmed I just want to touch it I want to hold it, I want to have it I know Keanu said it holds the power of forty suns But I just can’t help myself Why is it emanating fire? Oh, oh, oh shit Ahhhhhhhhhhh