DAY 1
My mom just dropped me off, my life is now complete
It’s the place of my dreams, The Pizza Retreat
I hope The week ahead will be the best I’ve ever had
Maybe it’ll be so great I’ll forget the absence of my dad
There’s pizza over here! There’s pizza over there!
Magic is in the pizza-air as we say pizza-prayer!
Pepperoni, cheese, sausage, so much to breathe in!
They even have pineapple for all of the heathens!

Feed me the pizza
Give me the pizza
Feed me the pizza
Oh shit, here comes the cavalry
Cavalry:
Eat the pizza
Put it in your mouth
Shut up and eat it
Eat the pizza
Eat the pizza
Put it in your mouth
Shut up and eat it
Eat the pizza

DAY 5
I thought I was the biggest pizza fan in the land
But this much pizza could feed all of Thailand
Pizza for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert
There’s so much pizza I’ve been hiding it in my shirt
The cavalry is so demanding, I can’t eat anymore
Why is the pizza retreat run by army corps
How can I be so empty and full all at the same time
I’ll just have one more slice in the meantime

Don't feed me the pizza
I don't want the pizza
Please no more pizza
Oh shit, here comes the cavalry
Cavalry:
Eat the pizza
Put it in your mouth
Shut up and eat it
Eat the pizza
Eat the pizza
Put it in your mouth
Shut up and eat it
Eat the pizza

Keanu Reeves: Hello child, it’s me, Keanu Reeves
Right now you are dreaming and I’m talking to you through the power of Pizza
You may not know it right now but you are trapped in a horrible place
From which I am to help you escape
First, you must cross the river of Coke which is entirely made of Pepsi
Then you must fly across the grease fields of torturous death so you don’t die
You then must fight the great elephant of wisdom who has more wisdom than even myself - Keanu Reeves; so good luck
He uses riddles and puzzles to defeat his enemies and it sucks a lot
but he guards the one true item you need to escape the ultimate slice
You must get to the ultimate slice of pizza
It holds the power of forty suns and can burn all of your enemies and captors
Only then will you be able to escape
Keanu, out

Thank you Keanu
I know now what I must do
Gotta blast

Oh man, the river of coke and the grease fields of torturous death were a close call!
I would’ve told you what happened, but that kinda takes up a lot of time, you know?
It’s really a shame that you weren’t there to see it

The Elephant of Wisdom:
I am the great elephant of wisdom
You must think you have a large amount of balls
Because I am very very smart. my brain is large sized.
You may have gotten past the river of coke
And the grease fields of torturous death
But you won't defeat me so easily
Keanu fears me for a reason.
Hey. Wait. What are you doing? You wouldn't dare...
You're going to leave me out of the song?
How could you? Don't leave me! Aaaaaaaaahhh

With the elephant gone
There is only one task I must complete
It’s the ultimate slice
Which will conclude my pizza retreat
Just up a flight of stairs
On a pedestal it sits
The mist slowly dissipates
Revealing a slice so delish

Oh my god
It’s so amazing
I can’t even describe it to you
It’s not out of laziness
It’s really just that amazing
I’m so overwhelmed I just want to touch it
I want to hold it, I want to have it
I know Keanu said it holds the power of forty suns
But I just can’t help myself
Why is it emanating fire?
Oh, oh, oh shit
Ahhhhhhhhhhh